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Intro + Outro: Express by The Crystal Clover

Transcript

Jordana: 0:00

Hello. Hello. Welcome to another episode of Fully Alive. How are you? It's been a while. It's been a while, doesn't it? I know. And I'm so glad I'm so glad to be here again. Even though I never disappeared. I was always here. I was always supporting you. I was always checking messages and emails and checking what was going on each week. So I was always here and I've been actually waiting for this moment that I would come back here and talk to you again and see what we've been up to. Many things happened since the last episode. Many things, and I needed to take some time out. I knew that I was going to still be here to still be, for whatever you needed. And that I would still have my episodes there to support you in any situation that you had. So that was something that. It kept my mind at ease because I was putting so much pressure on me and I thought that was not the best because the whole thing was to give you support and I wanted to I to give you support to hold the space from a place that. It was light and nice and cozy and like a cocoon. You know, That's always my intention. And I was editing at 3:00 AM it was just crazy. And at some point it was just too much. I was trying to handle many things at the same time, and I was needed to support somebody and. And it was just too much. It was just too much. So I'm glad that you kept your growth, your awareness, your consciousness, everything that you felt you needed, your space. So here I am today to say hi. I know it's been a while. And I know that we never disconnected anyway. We are like those friends that you, even if you don't speak for a while, like the moment you speak, it's I don't know, like you never disconnected at all. So today, I wanted to share something with you for this episode. Today, this morning was kind of a hectic morning, but in between all that movement, I was looking at my window outside of my window in my bedroom, and there was a storm a few days ago, and one of the trees, a big tree, a 40-year-old tree fell down, is not actually. On our back garden, but it is actually our kind of back neighbor imagine garden. And that tree had its roots under our fence, between us and them, and. It was almost over, like the storm was almost over. It lasted from one day to the next. And imagine it was supposed to end at 2:00 PM and it was like 1 45. I don't know. It was crazy. Like we all fell like it was over. It was all good. It was nice and sunny and all of a sudden, the crazy winds, I think it was like 180 kilometers. It was just crazy. It was just crazy. Like this gust of wind. But then all of a sudden, one last one came and he just knocked down the tree and it just came down. And the massive roots, so not roots going down, but what I mean is like the base of the tree was like five meters wide, just crazy. And my sons were downstairs because everyone was in that day. There was a red alert, so we were all in and. All of a sudden my kids said, look outside. Look outside. And we looked inside and I couldn't see anything. But then I just moved my head a bit and I said, wow, that was crazy. It was just crazy. And. At first, I was so sad for the tree. Oh no, that's a really old tree. And which is not that old. Come on, I'm 41. Supposedly that tree is 40. So it was like, like me. But yeah, I was really sad for the tree. I didn't know how old it was. But it was one of those trees that is big and thick and just, with bazillion leaves all over and just tall, maybe like 20 meters tall and just gorgeous. And half an hour after, because right after, everything stopped, all the wind and everything. So half an hour later, my neighbor from the back came around and said, I'm so sorry. I said, why are you sorry? It was an accident. It was something. Yeah. But your fans say, oh, that's fine. It's okay. So we came inside. And he looked at the back and I said, oh my goodness. Like he stripped the whole fence. Actually I don't think the fence is broken really, because it strip it, go together. Split it in half, but it is no damage I think. But the tree there, but anyway, so this whole thing wants to tell you what happened this morning. So this was a few days ago. So imagine four or five days ago. Maybe a week. I don't know. I really don't remember, but it was a few days ago and. Today, this morning I was looking outside and of course I was used to this new, view of the landscape, of having this enormous kind of circle of earth, you know, which is the root of the tree facing us, and the split fence all over. If it was like a skirt from the tree and. I saw birds like sitting there on the fence, on the kind of broken, not broken fence. And it got to me for us it is this happened so suddenly and for us, when something happened like this, you're saying, oh, I hope they fix it soon, or I hope it gets fixed, or we can fix it. So we acknowledged that something changed. We acknowledged that something changed, but we see this reality, this thing that happened and this thing that is right in front of us as something to be fixed. So then we start. So it's not like looking back, like the first thought that I had oh my goodness, look at that tree. It was gorgeous. And I don't know, I feel sad. There were so many like squirrels and birds, that, that lived on that tree or like you would see around that tree. And I was just so sad. So that was me going back, oh, but it was so nice, this was so nice. And then. And then went to the future. Like we, we would normally do these things, we normally go to the back and then we go to the future and then again, because the future is uncertain, because we don't know when that will be fixed. I'm talking about this particular case. Then it is oh, I don't know how long it's going to take. And maybe he's there for a long time. And we have our dog, and of course our dog cannot of go out. So this came with a bit of complications. We have to take Loki out with leash just so he doesn't go out, you know, out the back and just into the neighbor. Or take him out for a walk, like more times a day. And of course he doesn't understand a thing. Like he sees this massive black circle and he doesn't understand a thing. You wanna go, like it pulls us to go. But again, go back. It's just oh, we don't know when this will be fixed. We don't know when, Loki will, go back to just running around throwing the ball, and all those things. And we try to find ways of how can we overcome these complications, if you may if you will. But. This morning when I was looking at that, I say, look, those birds are just sitting there yeah, this is a new normal, in nature. It's just, it's just, It's just normal. It's like, well, that rock was there and now it's here, so yeah, it's okay. It's here now. It's okay. It changed, like the landscape changed, but it's here, it's fine. It's okay. Like this is the new normal. And if it changes again, then they're going to adapt to that other change, and that will then becomes their normal from that day until it changes again. When we do these things, I know it was a, it was a very simple very simple concept and something that you may have heard so many times, but when I was looking at this, I say, we are so used to when something changes, all of a sudden when there is a change, like a snap of fingers and something happens, then in the moment we are. Seeing these things. So we are acknowledging the change, but we are seeing these things something to be fixed. Then we go back kinda lamenting what it was and then going forward into the future thinking. Oh wait. But if this is a new normal and I know how long it's going to take, then all these complications are going to happen. And then we start assigning meaning, which is what we do, like humans. We are, we assign meaning to everything. We don't respond to what is we respond to, the meaning we assign to what is right. And in the doing this, we lose the opportunity to look at this. With a new perspective. And that was this morning and just now, like probably an hour ago, I went back to my bedroom and now it's the evening. So the sun came down. Right now I'm recording in the car just so I don't have a low key barking. That was another one of the things, like I couldn't record. He was just barking all day. And I didn't know where to do. But anyway, going back, when I went back to my bedroom, I started hearing soul, things, sounds, and I opened the window and I'm, I am positive that it comes from behind that fallen tree. So that means that my neighbor is actually doing something. So here they call it tree surgeons which are the people that come and just take care of fallen trees and or trees that need to come down because maybe they're rotten or sick or something. I dunno, probably that there is a more technical name, but that's the way that I explain it and I am so sure that it has been taken care of. So this morning I was looking at that oh, who knows when this is going to be fixed? But then I looked at the birds and said, wait, they're actually taking advantage of this new. Pulling into view this new kind of point of reference. So of course they had to acknowledge, they had to acknowledge the change because otherwise they would just try to stand on a branch that was, that is not there anymore. Or they would hit the fence or something. So of course they had to acknowledge this change. But other than that, there is nothing else. There's nothing else. There's no going back. I'm not in the bird's mind, but I'm thinking, okay, again, we're assigning what we think, but the birds look chill there. Like they were like every day. They looked like every day. So for them it was like, yeah, this is the new normal. That's it. We are chill here. We just talk to each other here. It's okay. And then. Nothing else. So if tomorrow, then that tree, that fallen tree is not there anymore and the fence goes back to whatever it was before or is a new fence or whatever, they will just sit somewhere else. It'll sit on the fence, on the new fence or somewhere else, like it will become a new normal. And they didn't lose the opportunity of this new perspective. When we have this change, when we have a change that happens suddenly, or even any change really, to be honest, like you could apply this to everything. When we have a change that we don't like or that makes us feel uncomfortable. At that moment, we start thinking how to fix it. We go back to lamenting what it was before and then we. Project into the future, this new normal that is a very uncomfortable new normal, assigning all the meaning of what it will be for us to continue in this new normal. And in all those steps, in all those steps that we do, there is never an honoring of what is right now. And saying, oh wait, I don't know how long it's going to last this, but this is a new perspective. So even from my window, I see things that I couldn't see before because the tree was massive. So I'm seeing, other houses from behind and other things. And actually, I spoke with a neighbor this morning and he said. The next day I was just sitting, drinking my coffee and then all of a sudden I felt like it was a different light. It was different, it felt different. And then I just looked everywhere and I realized the tree was not there anymore. So we could have so many benefits of this new perspective if we only let us be open, even if it is just to teach us something, even if it is just for us to see something, even if it is just to pass the time, because we don't know. Maybe this change could last an hour. Maybe this change could last a day, a week, a year, 10 years, it doesn't matter. But when we get attached to what it was, we never honor what is and we lose. This new opportunity for this new perspective that we didn't have before. We didn't, we couldn't, it was impossible to have this new perspective before, just because it wasn't available to us, but now it is. So anyway, this is something super simple and probably heard it so many times about this going to the back go going, to the past, going to the future, which is something that our minds do all the time. And I get it. Our brains, the main function of the brain is to survive. And of course is going to look at the back. Look at the back. He's not going to look at the back. He's going to look back for other situations that happened. Just to see if it can match it. And of course project it do statistics and see if there's any danger ahead or something. So I get that our brains do this, but we are not just our brains and we have our eyes to see, and we have our bodies to, just take a deep breath, take a few deep breaths and just say it's okay. Like it's okay. I know that this change. I may not like, and this could be for anything. It doesn't have a physical change. It could be a mental change. It could be you lose your job or you have a fight with someone that you care about, or you're trying your best for ears with somebody in your family or a friend or something. And you have this relationship and you try and you try and you super try, and then it's just look. It's done. There's nothing else to do. Like, At least not now, maybe next year, but not now. And it hit us, it hit us really bad, this new change. But if we just pause for a second and just take a few deep breaths and at least for a moment, just for a moment, we try to not assign any meaning because again, when we assign meaning, we, it's just biased. We assign the meaning that we want. We could assign any meaning. We could assign. That is a fantastic change. Or we can assign the meaning that is a really crappy thing that is happening and that is going to be really bad for us. So when we assign the meaning, we are actually choosing, we are choosing how we will feel when we assign this meaning. So we are choosing how we will think when, we think this thing and we assign this meaning. And then of course the thought that we will have are going to of course, be coherent without meaning that we just assigned. So we are actually choosing how we were going to feel. When we assign the meaning, usually we change, most of the times we assign meaning with a negative connotation with a negative impact on our lives. So of course, it would be great if you could see at it like, oh wait. Maybe I don't know it now, but this is going to be fantastic. Maybe it isn't comfortable now, but maybe this means that I will have some more sunlight when I'm having my coffee in the morning. Like it happened to my neighbor. It is just, it's just trusting. And I know, I know that sometimes it is just hard to trust and maybe, li life is just sometimes a bit chaotic sometimes and a bit but we are always in control of what we do in the moment, the way that we're respond in the moment. And if we're only reacting, if we're only reacting to what is happening and. Just letting our brain do what our brain does because what it's been trained to do for years and years, then we are losing this new perspective. We are losing this opportunity to see with new eyes, literally with new eyes is just, it's just crazy. And look, this morning. Actually when we came back I was hearing the birds like at the front of my house and it was just insane. It was this beautiful, like they were all talking at the same time. It was so beautiful and I don't know if I heard that before. That tree from the back fell. So I don't know if maybe those are the birds from the back that came here to the front, to this, near this other tree that's here. I don't know. But there are so many kind of ramifications. There are so many things that will replicate and that will bleed into all different areas for one change. And when we assign a meaning A negative meaning. If it's positive, then great. Enjoy it. You're going to feel amazing. But if it is negative, then it's so much better just to take control of it and just, even if we don't wanna change or we feel like we can't, which we can. Like you can decide if you want a chocolate ice cream or vanilla ice cream, or an apple or a ham and cheese sandwich so you can change your thoughts. Okay? So you can definitely change it. But if you feel like in that particular day, then you have less kind of control over your mind and you feel like that is something that you cannot do at the moment, then you always have your breath. You always have your breath and your body to help you with. Not reacting, but actually responding. And the way to respond is to have a pause, like a micro pause between the stimuli and the reaction, the action and the reaction. So when you react is instant, but when you respond, you take that, like breathe in. And then that mini pause. Helps you choose, because when you react, it's just automatic. That is a programming. That is something that is is in your subconscious, so it's just reacting. It's responding but in a very instant and automatic way, which is not you choosing, maybe you chose it in the past, but maybe you don't choose it now. So you can always pause have some breaths and just maybe. Maybe be open to the possibility that there is something that this new change will bring to you, will bring to you a new perspective, will bring to you new skills, will bring to you something really cool that may happen tomorrow that you don't know right now in this very instant. So there you go. That was my, my thing for today. And I thought that it was going to be like five minutes, but I have no idea how long I've been recording. I have my phone in airplane mode and in do not disturb, and I actually, I have, when I put do Not Disturb on my phone, I have a picture of Loki when he just arrived and he's so cute. So cute. Anyway, I hope you have a beautiful week and I'll speak to you next week. I don't know, maybe sooner. Who knows this new vibe going on? But definitely next week. So I hope you have a beautiful day today, night, wherever you are, and that you will have opportunities to, to try this. Opportunities to try, even if it is just simple things, like he thought it was going to be sunny, and then it starts raining. Like instead of being pissed at it, just what can you do about it? What can you do about the way that you feel? Again, remember we spoke about this like bazillion years ago, but remember that when you think a thought and an emotion comes as a chemical response in your body, it only lasts 90 seconds. So if, when you're angry, it'll last more than 90 seconds, and that means that you're having more thoughts, that of course they are coherent to that first thought. That keeps. That same emotion or somewhat that same emotion in a loop, in a kind of close loop. So if you have a thought that you don't like and you're feeling, you know, in a bad way or in a way that you don't wanna feel or is uncomfortable, then just choose what you would want to be thinking, and then give yourself a breather. Give yourself a few deep breaths. And just for 90 seconds you can even set a timer on your phone. You can just 90 seconds, put your hand on your heart. Just be on a place where you can be by yourself, even that's just the bathroom. Or just do it in your mind. Like it's fine. You don't have to react in the moment, just take some time out, you know, just timeout, you know, like you would do with kids like timeout. Okay. Just take those 90 seconds, timeout and. I'm sure that you will, you'll perceive something different, and it is just that it is this repetition of every time. It's just breaking the pattern, in the moment, and then choosing something different. And you'll see that step by step, like bit by bit. It's going to be easier, it's going to be wider. These poles in between the stimuli and the. The response, this reaction, this automatic response. And if there is a day that you feel that it's just harder than usual, it's okay. It's okay. Look, it's not I'll tell you what I was thinking when I was having my driving lessons last year. I thought that there, there were a few days that I felt that I was just going back to square one. Oh my goodness, what's going on? I felt that I had it and then I'm back in score one. You're not like, whatever happens the, this is thing that helped me a lot. I dunno if you felt, if it'll help you, but you can try it, you can always try it. I put in numbers to everything just because it's easier. It's a very graphic way of measuring things. So what I used to do was, okay, so I will stop. Just having a feel of me going back to square, one of me feeling amazing, like the most skillful driver in the world, and just put a number. So in that case, what I chose was percentage. So instead of putting like one to 10, I would say, okay let's talk about percentage. Like from zero being like square one I have no idea what to do. And a hundred being. How I want to feel when I drive. And I'm not talking about very skillful driver, driver that has been driving for 25 years. Because of course that will take me a bit of time. But what I mean is having the test I never wanted to know enough to pass the test. I have kids, I have family, and I value my life so much. So I didn't wanna risk it. So I wanted to actually be a good driver. Good conscious, respectful paying attention kind of driver. So that was my a hundred percent. So for whatever you want for yourself regarding that. Then just put a number from one to a hundred. And then how do you feel today? So every time I came back home. From the lessons I felt, okay, how do I feel today in percentage? And it just came to me, just popped in my head, like 70% or 40% but from that moment, even if I went from 70% to 45%, which is, it's just crazy, but that was a number that kind of popped into my head. It didn't matter because I was never back. I. In Square one because there are so many things that could happen. I could be in the time of the month or it could be I don't know, maybe a bit tired that day or maybe I didn't sleep well that night or something, or it was raining a lot. Because here in Be Rains a lot, so anyway so there you have a few tools here. To change perspective and just here and there, a few tweak here and there and see what works for you. So have a lovely week and I'll speak to you soon. Bye Bye.